ERROR………>> COMM/SEC INTERRUPT UNAUTH SIGNAL >> SIGNAL FOUND Hey bleeders, this is gonna be a quick one cause your friendly Jester’s only got a few to spare before I need to oscillate. ‘Till then here’s the all about from BOotyCall, the Specs best show about the uni’s very worst. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.
Why the rush, you ask? Cause the Dusters apparently can’t take a joke. Seriously, Dusty, if you’re listening, and I know you’re listening, they call me Jester for a frickin’ reason! Whatever you and the rest of the Dusters thought I said, I promise you I didn’t. Hell, even if I did, I didn’t mean it. I just talk sometimes, everyone knows that. Why would I care who or what you verge with? As long as everyone can walk away in the morning, have some fun is what I say. The point being, it’s not my fault and if you ghost me, Dusty, a lot of important people are gonna be angry. In fact, know what? Any of you fans feel like helpin’ me apologize, show up near Horizon in the next few minutes. That’s right, BOotyCallers, time to kick some booty. Hear that, Dusters? I GOT FRIENDS! Angry friends with guns and lasers. And knives.
As you can tell, I got some personal stuff on the burner, but you’re crazy if you think when something blows I ain’t gonna take the time to let you know. Strap yourselves in, boyos. This is what the dry suits call a news flash.
One word.
Armistice.
Hole. E. Shit.
Hasn’t been one in over a decade since Red July, but this is the real deal. An Armistice has been called in Nul. And not some bull two clan shake. We’re talkin’ system wide peace with Nescus flexin’ enough muscle to make sure everyone plays nice.
Why the temporary halt to all festivities? Turns out there’s only so many Vanduul raids you can take. Anyone who’s had business on Char or Ashana this past year knows that Nul has gotten a hella lot more dangerous with the ‘duul murder parade marchin’ on through pretty much non-stop. Your scan’s as good as mine why the bastards are so eager to sink their blades into a system that’s most habitable planet is best described as a shit filled litter box, but, then again, who the hell knows why they do anything. I’m just saying it’s a sad state of affairs when the biggest thing you’re worried about when visiting Olympus isn’t blackin’ out and finding yourself a slave, but rather, having a Scythe jamming itself right up your rig. The one time you actually want a Navy frigate to come stormin’ in and those Messers ain’t nowhere, right?
‘Course, there’s only so many credits you can lose before something’s gotta be done. Slavers are hurtin’. Scavers are hurtin’. Even the poppers are feelin’ it. And with Olympus being the heart of all the action in the system, it makes sense that Nescus would lead the charge to fix the problem. The codgy ol’ Tevarin put all debt on hold for anyone willing to join the cause. From the way I hear it, once Coriolus Initiative pledged to the Armistice, everybody else fell in line pretty damn quick. The KGs, DiamondShots, and littleBacks have all given word. Wouldn’t be surprised if the HCore and the Lusk Blunts followed suit next. Can you picture it? All those roughs running drills and scramblin’ patrols. Nescus’ pretty much got himself his own personal pirate army. All that’s left is to see if his fancy Tevarin tactics will amount to anything when the Vanduul come back swinging. That, and can the Armistice actually hold long enough to do something before everyone starts backstabbing each other to death. In my experience, pirates ain’t made for peace.
What this means for the rest of us scurrows is if you ain’t got legit business, stay far away. On the other hand, if you got a debt with Nescus, now’s your chance to make good. Anything else… well, the Armistice has a ‘one for all’ policy in place. You make trouble for one person, and you’ll get the whole —
(BLARING ALARMS) Crap! My proxies! Looks like they’re pickin’ up some Dust.
Gotta ‘ject.
BOotyCall out!
END TRANSMISSION